ashamazing

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss's wife. I work for my parents. FML