Monsieur Nicosia, Cyprus 46 ans Célibataire
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my parents and family. Everybody was happy, except for my dad, who totally freaked out and won't talk to me. The reason: he secretly hoped that I would break up with my husband, and now that we're expecting a baby he can't "get rid of him" anymore. FML
Today, I was barely out of the shower when someone knocked on the door. Thinking it was my husband, I opened the door wearing just a bathrobe. It was my husband. With two cops. "Do you know this man?" FML
Today, I found out all the "work meetings" my husband has been going to wasn't him having an affair after all, but him attending a neo-Nazi group. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
Today, the paternity test came back. It's like I suspected all along; my "son" is actually my half-brother. FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML
Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML
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