themskatielynn

Repetitive

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML

Nice try

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML