BLXCKLIGHT

Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML

Today, the guy I'm seeing told me, "I've always loved you as a person.... but not in any other way." While he was inside me. FML

Today, I was excited to finally get an interview after being unemployed since getting out of the military nearly a year ago. Turns out, they weren't even interested in hiring me. They'd just never met a female Marine before. FML

Today, I explained to my boss what clickbait is and why it's bad practice to use it when writing online. After my explanation, she ordered me to go ahead with it, saying it's "exactly what we need". This person is the marketing communications director for a major multinational company. FML