Acegamerfreak

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML

For better, for worse

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

Spooked

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML