Mademoiselle Portland, United States 34 ans En couple
Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML
Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML
Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML
Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML
Today, I had to convince my parents to shut the door when they have sex. They have done this on multiple occasions. FML
Today, I learned the hard way what the inside of my toe looks like. FML
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