Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML
kat85_fml
The joke's on you
Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML
The sad truth
Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML