IAmJad

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

Gooooooooooal!

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

Today, my boyfriend of two years, whom I supported through the death of his father, and whose invalid mother I also took care of, suddenly dumped me. The fact that I've put on a little weight due to recent stress disgusts him, and he "can't date a chubster". FML

Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML