Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML
Ninja_Porcupine
Célibataire
Boneo and Juliet
Amherst, United States
MyBallsForSaleOnEbay
Naxxar, Malta
Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML