Monsieur 33 ans Célibataire
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML
Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML
Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML
Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML
Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML
Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML
Today, my co-worker thought it would be funny to tell her husband that she cheated on him with me. I'm scared to death and I don't dare to go out by myself. FML
Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML
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