•
•
•

XanderJayNix

0

1

17

105

3179

228

San Diego, CA, United States of America

Xanderjaynix

Xanderjaynix -

Xanderjaynix -

Xanderjaynix

lovers5201

Sean_fml

LennyComa

autumnbeac...

PhoenixMar...

n_a_v_y

yellow33

ragnarok15...

CaroBear

shmoooopie

ThatOneGuy...

llamingo

ragnarok15...

Xanderjaynix

Xanderjaynix

Anonymous - 22/05/2012 20:49 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

39 793

4 546

boblaj - 22/05/2012 16:11 - United Kingdom - Hastings

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

22 879

4 039

Where did you come from?

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

32 977

2 932

Rick - 22/05/2012 11:02 - United States - Spartanburg

Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML

29 085

4 819

Cosy chat

sick and awkward - 20/05/2012 06:11 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

32 380

3 590