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PhoenixMartinez

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Tuesday 19 August 1997

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Phoenixmartinez

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mehdi - 13/10/2008 08:20

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

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Growlithe1395 - 11/03/2017 16:00

Today, I finally got my hands on a Nintendo Switch. While unboxing it, I left the room to get a pair of scissors. When I came back, most of the box contents were missing and my little brother was standing there. It has been about 5 hours and I still haven't been able to find anything. FML

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strongsmells - 03/08/2017 17:48 - Portugal

Today, I started a new summer job on a restaurante that requires me to spend the night. I have to sleep on a matress on the floor next to an older lady who smells of pee and the room is so hot, it could serve as a sauna. FML

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"Marlon4136" - 14/09/2017 01:30

Today, as an usher at a beauty pageant, I was helping other patrons when a group walked past me and sat. I politely asked to see their tickets, but one of the women got angry and ripped hers up to throw the pieces in my face. Without a ticket, I had to kick her out. The police were called. FML

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Anonymous - 08/07/2012 21:13 - France

Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML

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