Crystal_da_thing

2921

Queensland, Australia
25
Thursday 02 March 2000

Crystal_da_thing

RAWRRR!!! I have 2 dogs and live in Queensland, Australia Ok does anyone here give a fuck Message me ? Follow my instagram: dr_chameleacorn Add me on snapchat: dr_chameleacorn

Crystal_da_thing -

Crystal_da_thing

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Crystal_da_thing

FML.. - 06/04/2009 19:51 - China

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

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Polite

bleue - - France - Montberon

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let rip a loud fart. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

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Insanity - 09/04/2015 05:28 - France - La Poste

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

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Being boring

dicedicebaby - 23/03/2015 00:20 - United States - Columbus

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

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Quick exit

meeeee! - - United States - Wilmington

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

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