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OP here to answer some of your burning questions. Really, FML for all involved, but the crown goes to the dog. He isn’t butthurt about it anymore. I watched for blood and any signs of pain in his next stool because I know what sharp, jabby appendages toddler fingers are and it was like any other shit. He also received boiled chicken breast to alleviate the emotional trauma and a lot of praise for his stand-up response to the whole shit show. To clarify a few others and add some detail: 1. No one got bit. I’ve got a hell of a bombproof dog and he and the kid are tight. He did leap like a gazelle though. Fair to say he was surprised. 2. Wet wipes are a parent’s best friend. Too bad I only had spit and a Kleenex. 3. The amateur veterinarian’s diagnosis was ‘stinky.’ And he wasn’t very happy about it. 4. I don’t know if some people are aware but toddlers tend to throw high emotion, physically aggressive tantrums because they are developmentally limited in their ability to appreciate consequences, exercise restraint, and use non-physical methods to express themselves, especially when upset. It’s normal, he’s two, that’s what they do. 5. This was his first anal offense although he’s previously expressed interest in the brown hole that he’s not allowed to touch ever since he came to be eye level with it. He really had no appreciation of what he was doing and how it would affect the dog. 6. But yes, he did receive ‘discipline’ in the form of a calm, firm reprimand for acting in violence and, when he calmed down enough, a limited discussion of appropriate behaviour and a teachable moment where he came to understand that he had hurt our dog. Little guy was upset by it and apologetic. It went way better than anticipated. 7. People who think children suck for reasons such as this undervalue the insane mileage I’m going to get out of this one for years to come. 8. He’s a really awesome kid with a good heart, but human (surprise). I’m actually pretty sad Trip didn’t add anything but #14 gave me a laugh. I also don't know what he's going to be a 'social path' quite means, but I'm alright if he turns out extroverted.

Hey guys op here! Still no sign of the wallet, had no cash in it fortunately but replacing the cards is a hassle. First time i lost it, some old lady handed it into the bank. One of the train cleaners gave me a call after i lost the second one. Hoping 3rd times the charm? I'm a 20 year old uni student and it takes me about 2hrs to get to and from uni. Basically i live on trains. I've never lost my wallet prior to this year though! Some of you might be saying how could you lose it again!? Well, i think i was too preoccupied trying to text this girl i really like... until it dawned on me when i changed platforms. The sudden realisation as you furiously check your bag is the worst. Looks like i'm investing in a chain wallet from now on:) I'll let you all know if it magically appears(hopefully). If you guys find a black wallet with a bunch of cards give me a heads up! haha