DARKKNIGHT18

Today, I found a deodorant spray underneath the counter of the snack place I work in, so gave it a go to see what it smelled like. It's currently the peak season, and so I had quite a few clients in line in front of me, but it seems they'll now have to wait a couple of days for the restaurant to have all the remnants of the CS gas spray cleaned up. FML

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML