Natascha_fml

Creepy

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently duplicated my keys before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering, “He looks like Jesus.” FML

Today, when confronting my boyfriend about slapping a girl's ass in the club, he claimed: "There was a mosquito on it." FML