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zeppelin625

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lovers5201

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Zeppelin625

janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

91 840

12 757

Boredom

alhummel21 - 12/02/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

181 865

52 083

Distressed - 11/02/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

66 683

3 568

WTF is going on here?

douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML

94 263

20 278

hahahehehohohoo - 07/02/2009 03:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

324 612

58 704