Mortis65

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Mortis65's favorite FMLs

By goddamn chicken subs - 24/03/2016 16:51 - United States

Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML

agreeclassic 22 882

vote type 1 1 658

Time is a flat circle

By Off to Canada - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Hong Kong - Kowloon

Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML

agreeclassic 21 052

vote type 1 2 463

By Marika - 20/07/2015 17:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

agreeclassic 33 371

vote type 1 9 248

By Anonymous - 30/11/2015 23:54 - Belgium - Gent

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

agreeclassic 23 835

vote type 1 1 780

By CaraMaria - 24/11/2015 09:02 - United States

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

agreeclassic 28 082

vote type 1 2 430

CaraMaria app_comment_confession_title

CaraMaria 6

mercredi 25 novembre 2015 0:27

Yes. I have since tried to destroy the demonic thing, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it comes back to life.