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mehdi - 13/10/2008 08:20

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

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You'd know by now

Anonymous - 15/01/2016 04:51 - United States - Burbank

Today, I was going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He couldn't get hard and pouted about it for nearly two hours. When I went to comfort him, he said, "Man, I hope I'm not gay." FML

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Anonymous - 14/01/2016 12:51 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

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The proposal

Brasilian29 - 11/12/2014 12:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of two years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready, and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back, and said, "Bitches, man." I cried. FML

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Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

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