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Anonymous - 20/06/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

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Showtime

Anonymous - 16/09/2019 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, I accidentally rammed my finger into my desk, and it felt like I'd broken it. Yelping in pain, I fell over onto my bed, missed it, and landed on the floor. My dog saw this as a good opportunity to climb on top of me and start humping. FML

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The Bathtub Incident

Katie - 17/09/2019 12:01 - United States

Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML

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bail? - 29/08/2019 23:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML

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Jane - 08/02/2019 00:00

Today, in my job as an underwear photographer, I had to see the face of dissapointment and pain of a male model when I asked him to put an "enhancer" on his genital area for the shoot. This FML is for him. FML

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