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Anonymous - 14/08/2013 19:47 - United States

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

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Not so smooth criminal

Anonymous - 14/08/2013 09:11 - United States - Sanford

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

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kenbez123 - 14/08/2013 07:55 - Malta - Santa Venera

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

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mercredi 14 août 2013 23:10

The neighbour in question was male. No he was not naked (thank god). When he noticed me he just ran off back to his house.

Anonymous - 08/08/2013 11:10 - Latvia - Jelgava

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

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That's a no, then?

no new apartment for me - 18/07/2013 19:53 - United States - Hagerstown

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

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