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lolzalolliepop

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Inside your phone, Eating your apps

Lolzalolliepop

Hey there ✌️ it's Milkshake here, you can PM me if you want! xD I don't bite (often).

Lolzalolliepop -

Lolzalolliepop -

Lolzalolliepop

lovers5201

BrigitteKo...

KathrinLor...

Rababco

BassinBoy1...

ROMAD

shadow_hea...

ShoyuSauce...

amazing_ra...

raven83

MNBOY16

inowhtthef...

addictedto...

Lolzalolliepop

Lolzalolliepop

xoragebaby - 24/01/2015 01:29 - United States

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

37 744

5 050

Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

47 153

3 077

EggHead - 31/12/2014 04:38 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, at work, a 3-year-old threw an egg at me from his cart. I couldn't leave my register to clean my hair because it was too busy, so when the new manager came in, he wrote me up for "unkempt appearance." Now my new hire probation period is extended 30 days, and my nickname is "Egghead." FML

34 030

2 598

Brain worms

smooth - - United States

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

30 887

19 126

stewardess - 03/10/2014 01:55 - United States

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

34 047

12 459