lzmo

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Lzmo's favorite FMLs

By CaraMaria - 24/11/2015 09:02 - United States

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

agreeclassic 28 082

vote type 1 2 430

CaraMaria app_comment_confession_title

CaraMaria 6

mercredi 25 novembre 2015 0:27

Yes. I have since tried to destroy the demonic thing, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it comes back to life.

Let him have his innocence

By sydcaller618 - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Richmond

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML

agreeclassic 24 373

vote type 1 2 660

No help wanted

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

agreeclassic 39 827

vote type 1 3 397

Who? Where? Why? What?

By up to no-good... - 22/08/2014 04:09 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

agreeclassic 47 530

vote type 1 3 227

By Anonymous - 15/08/2014 21:35 - United States - Green Lane

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

agreeclassic 22 947

vote type 1 56 617