zombienightmare

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

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Today, my friend accidentally left her Facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her Facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML