soccerlover239

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Soccerlover239's favorite FMLs

By Vitriol - 15/01/2012 18:14 - France

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

agreeclassic 31 639

vote type 1 3 773

hero93 app_comment_confession_title

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lundi 16 janvier 2012 4:53

it took me 10 minutes to understand what OP was trying to say. and then when I understood I was like why is this on here ?

New laws

By Andrew - 23/08/2011 14:46 - United States

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

agreeclassic 36 253

vote type 1 6 413

Real estate

By John - 20/07/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

agreeclassic 42 965

vote type 1 12 223

By my ears are dying - 22/06/2011 18:37 - United States

Today, my five year old niece decided to wake me up by shoving blasting earphones in my ears. Five hours later I can still hear Justin Bieber shrieking "Baby". FML

agreeclassic 39 445

vote type 1 5 354

Sex ed has failed entire generations

By Thatslife - 26/03/2011 19:29 - Netherlands

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

agreeclassic 51 888

vote type 1 7 875