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Lindy147

Anonymous - 17/09/2013 17:23 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

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baddad - 23/09/2013 04:44 - United States

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

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msmidnight1965 - 22/09/2013 17:22 - Canada

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

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msmidnight1965

msmidnight1965 12

dimanche 22 septembre 2013 23:27

We have those orthodontic ones that help with oral development. They also resemble the nipple during breast feeding.

Smoothskin - 19/09/2013 21:18 - Australia - Heidelberg

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

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Schizomaniac - 19/09/2013 19:16 - United States

Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

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Schizomaniac

Schizomaniac 24

vendredi 20 septembre 2013 5:47

Lol sucks, op. Oh wait...First off: Kali, **** you. Now that that's out of the way, I got into the dorm building by waiting outside for someone to come out, as my ID no longer works. I phoned my old roommate but he was still happily asleep. Everything leading up to the paper towel moment was pretty hectic. I was on the verge of being late for an important class and when I got to school, my normal parking lot was full. LSU parking is a biznitch. The scene played out pretty much how pistachiopanda described it. It was pretty dramatic. On the plus side, "Make a Man Out of You" came on Pandora as I was driving to school. Silver lining.