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selenagirl_fml

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375

1857

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San Juan, Puerto Rico
31
Saturday 18 June 1994

Selenagirl_fml

Girl 1: "Team EDWARD!" Girl 2: "Team JACOB!" :) Me: "Team SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET A DAMN LIFE." when you realize you over slept, you get up from the bed like a ninja. Fake tan, Fake nail, Fake hair, Fake eyes, Fake boobs, girl, are you sure you weren't made in china?

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lovers5201

YannQLD

sexymomo12...

courtney_j...

SaltyLurke...

smacked ba...

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Selenagirl_fml

The bitch is back

thatsucks - 28/02/2009 11:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

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kylie - 10/08/2010 07:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

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Forgotten - 09/08/2010 14:38 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

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Jessi - 21/07/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband was trying to cheat on me while I was away at basic training. I signed up for the service to pay off his debt. FML

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This is America

liz - - United States

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

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