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Arashnaphobia

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Arashnaphobia's favorite FMLs

By Black - 12/12/2008 03:31 - Lebanon

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

agreeclassic 38 333

vote type 1 3 855

Reddit

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

agreeclassic 453

vote type 1 315

Reddit

Catch!

By Jaxter - 18/03/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML

agreeclassic 81 142

vote type 1 15 031

Reddit

Cursed media

By Zack - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Israel

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

agreeclassic 37 302

vote type 1 97 806

Reddit

Didn't see ya there!

By jazojigga - 02/03/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the crosswalk. Suddenly, I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

agreeclassic 16 809

vote type 1 52 311

Reddit