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exDrumMeR

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Exdrummer's favorite FMLs

By Barrel - 05/02/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

agreeclassic 62 836

vote type 1 9 054

Reddit

Poor Raymond

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got this huge package at my college dorm from my parents with candy, chips, canned soup and all these goodies. When I called my mom to thank her, she replied, "We got rid of your cat, Annie". FML

agreeclassic 43 084

vote type 1 2 661

Reddit

By peacock_mina19 - 11/02/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

agreeclassic 89 045

vote type 1 27 185

Reddit

By JLoistheBomb - 11/02/2009 00:01 - United States

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

agreeclassic 13 684

vote type 1 76 633

Reddit

WTF is going on here?

By douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML

agreeclassic 94 263

vote type 1 20 278

Reddit