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tlangenfeld

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Tlangenfeld's favorite FMLs

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

agreeclassic 52 486

vote type 1 16 565

Reddit

By Blood on my hands - 07/08/2013 05:40 - United States

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

agreeclassic 53 175

vote type 1 25 761

Reddit

You must be kidding

By offuckingcourse - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

agreeclassic 60 337

vote type 1 20 649

Reddit

By Anonymous - 28/07/2013 04:59 - United States

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

agreeclassic 45 000

vote type 1 30 016

Reddit

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:14 - Poland - Polska

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

agreeclassic 62 608

vote type 1 5 613

Reddit