•
•
•

turtlemanz

0

0

8

19

2251

80

28
Monday 23 December 1996

Turtlemanz

Canadian

Turtlemanz -

Turtlemanz -

Turtlemanz

lovers5201

ubevaye

BirgitHerr...

CatherineB...

niali95

Snip_Snap

lucythomso...

Mortoli

hulmeman

Amiiii

isum21

Valcannos

CatherineB...

Turtlemanz

Turtlemanz

jazopalchris - 25/11/2013 23:42 - Australia - Mount Gambier

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

47 050

5 849

why god - 25/11/2013 06:16 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

75 020

6 355

Braggadocio

snowwhite - 28/10/2013 04:51 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of, "how hard he gave it to me last night." FML

58 679

10 138

Anonymous - 20/07/2014 05:23 - United States

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

53 572

4 442

regretsteachinghighschool - 05/11/2013 13:22 - United States - Rochester

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

48 542

5 839