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scaredshitless - 03/03/2012 13:55 - Finland

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

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it'sabitwindy - 09/12/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of "Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind." FML

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unknown52 - 02/12/2011 02:02 - Netherlands

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

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lebato97 - 09/12/2011 03:35 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

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perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

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