MaryssaJean

3360

no, Where
25
Wednesday 08 March 2000

Maryssajean

Maryssajean -

Maryssajean

lovers5201

killerkoff...

xKimberlyx

laurenrena...

marshm610

rahatb98

frankmz

Rintarok5

worldclass...

Heebs62

whyamiupat...

simugeek

marshm610

beeferjay

delfino160...

whitnayfor...

cakefete2

DBJ99

karacakal2

BloodyDemo...

tranced_

TheTshirt

salyhahaha

the_aspect

Maryssajean

notinthebutt - 14/06/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

15 327

64 336

Anonymous - 06/10/2014 23:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

40 909

4 566

Nervous nelly

rejected - - United Kingdom - Harlow

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager told me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

41 852

5 185

Mood ruiner

RuinedTheMood - 21/09/2014 05:11 - United States - Tomball

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said, "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded, "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

48 019

13 512

Toxic

Tiny - 29/07/2014 08:27 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

45 918

3 806