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TheRawrza - 26/04/2009 09:47 - United States

Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted, "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!" I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I didn't think I'm fat. FML

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Generation III

Brock - 02/02/2013 21:20 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

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Shook

footfetish - 02/02/2013 11:21 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

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Sensitive

airbiscuit - 21/01/2013 12:36 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

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black and yellow - 21/01/2013 06:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

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