Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML 32 230 5 121
Poetry in politics blondie101 - - United States Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML 13 994 100 483
Dickhead - 25/11/2011 15:02 - Lebanon Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML 14 547 62 338