•
•
•

AskMyName_fml

0

0

5

6

798

18

Brampton, Canada
30
Wednesday 22 February 1995

Askmyname_fml

I'm made of sparkles and marmalde.

Askmyname_fml -

Askmyname_fml -

Askmyname_fml

lovers5201

AndreaHoff...

JuneMason

soukizz

Fmluptheas...

MrPancak3

mattjamt

Tidus0

JuneMason

Askmyname_fml

Askmyname_fml

frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

42 071

9 052

Road rage gone feral

16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

45 364

4 855

lolilovemyboyfriend - 19/10/2011 14:37 - United States

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

59 007

18 570

cadillacfrank - 24/07/2011 21:01 - United States

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

12 824

36 597

Username - 01/12/2010 03:39

Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML

16 132

62 340