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mel4joe2015

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Chester-le-Street , United Kingdom
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Sunday 14 July 1991

Mel4joe2015

I'm pretty easy to get along with. I have the most amazing boyfriend and enjoy reading, writing and music.

Mel4joe2015 -

Mel4joe2015 -

Mel4joe2015

lovers5201

Marie1994

cperagui

Reely_quee...

zskninoh

nightfire2...

texleg

slapstick1...

joco4

W31rdG1rl

paigexox0

mikotomisa...

Exodiafind...

Mel4joe2015

Mel4joe2015

DemonicDummy - 05/01/2017 05:06

Today, after smoking, I sat down to watch Supernatural with my young cousin. I accidentally let out a burp during a demonic possession scene and, to our surprise, smoke came out of my mouth. Now there's a crying 11-year-old hiding somewhere in the house with salt. Mom will be home in 5 minutes. FML

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fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

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Not so smooth criminal

Anonymous - 14/08/2013 09:11 - United States - Sanford

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

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Technique

jlowder2 - 11/12/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

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davav74 - 15/06/2012 23:31 - United Kingdom - Ely

Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML

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