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honeybunny90 - 28/12/2013 08:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

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KEEP OUT

Awkward - - United States - Redmond

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

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Pesky kids

Kyle - 03/12/2013 06:09 - United States - Seattle

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they couldn't get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

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Anonymous - 30/11/2013 16:09 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

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Still better than the Emoji movie

probablydodgedabullet - - Australia - Wollongong

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

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