cbcorky

1219

Forest Lake, USA
44
Tuesday 28 April 1981

Cbcorky

I am engaged to a wonderful man and I have the best daughter in the world. I am currently looking for a job since I was fired from my last one for calling in sick 7 times in 6 months. Thankfully I am getting unemployment for that. LOL

Cbcorky -

Cbcorky

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Cbcorky

GrippedMyBalls - 15/07/2009 13:21 - Korea Republic of

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

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Corolla Conspiracy

Anonymous - 30/07/2017 00:30

Today, I was talking to one of the advisors at my job about how almost everyone in the workplace who owns a Toyota has strangely been in some sort of car accident in the last year. I happen to have a Toyota. Guess who was rear-ended at an intersection after leaving work. FML

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ouch - 13/06/2012 16:00 - United States - Lutz

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

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You have been warned

PUA - 15/03/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

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Do that again

lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

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