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Anonymous - 20/08/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

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the long distance guy - 08/04/2014 07:56 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

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hbbbs - 02/03/2014 00:58 - United States - Palm Desert

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

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dimanche 2 mars 2014 16:04

Hello! I'm the OP. Just to confirm, I didn't get any major injuries (just a bruised butt!) Also, -didn't put box on the cousin because she's too short, so she wouldn't be able to walk in it -didn't realize the stairs because when the box was on, I couldn't see, so I seemed to have lost my sense of perception Anyway, thanks for all the "hope your not hurt"-ish comments! ♡

Anonymous - 28/02/2014 22:26 - Russian Federation - Korol

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

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Anonymous - 14/02/2014 01:31 - United States

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

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