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Friday 28 June 1991

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RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

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Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

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human torch - 18/03/2010 15:22 - United States

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

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hater - 16/03/2010 10:55

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

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bunnylover - 15/03/2010 16:44 - Canada

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

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