lonelybirthday

917

America , Earth
31
Friday 22 July 1994

Lonelybirthday

What do you want to know about me? Favorite book? Average amount of sarcasm I use in a typical sentence? What warm beverage I enjoy most on a bone chilling January day? Feel free to ask.

Lonelybirthday -

Lonelybirthday

lovers5201

nilo78

Ally78777

KathrinLor...

SmittyJA24

Wutdafuqq

Kylz

moomimamoo

Wolfparabl...

sailing_is...

rocker_chi...

Lonelybirthday

beerpong26 - 06/02/2009 19:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

51 612

6 890

Anonymous - 04/12/2014 19:33 - United States

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

46 646

3 320

mislead - 22/09/2014 16:43 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

48 755

6 183

YouTubers must be stopped

TuT - - France

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

42 615

4 311

Thoughts and prayers

Anonymous - 09/08/2014 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

58 578

24 669