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Planet, Earth
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Thursday 28 September 1989

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Anonymous - 13/01/2010 21:41 - United States

Today, I did a "dine and dash" and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

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Hugh_Jankles - 08/01/2010 18:48 - United States

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

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Oh, totally

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

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Normal - 13/12/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

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doglover - 03/11/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

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