bettyxoxo

2364

176

Bettyxoxo

garlic bread enthusiast

Bettyxoxo -

Bettyxoxo

lovers5201

Marie1994

acagidepad

kakoon77

[277339064...

What2D0

lola4455

horsedaz96

lizardFace

kylie128

hare

rach0545

patrickala...

TheChelsea...

Bettyxoxo

Anonymous - 28/01/2015 19:28 - United States - El Dorado Hills

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML

33 968

2 922

I'm screwed - 27/01/2015 23:46 - United States - King Of Prussia

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

32 692

2 396

Anonymous - 14/01/2015 01:50 - United States - Wilmington

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

36 617

5 834

con135 - 13/01/2015 01:16 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

39 014

10 310

con135

con135 12

mardi 13 janvier 2015 15:38

Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"

Anonymous - 10/01/2015 22:12 - United States - San Pablo

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

39 620

3 060