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DeathMeat

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Thursday 07 February 1985

Deathmeat

My momma's so poor she waves around a Popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning *sobbing*

Deathmeat -

AndreaHoff...

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Deathmeat

lovers5201

keemah

AndreaHoff...

AAG60

Milianorii...

demix_fml

jill97

Chickenlip...

Marebare23

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melody309

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Deathmeat

Deathmeat

Take it down!

Mary C. - 23/03/2015 01:58 - United States - Mendota

Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me, and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

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First time, last time

tuggernuts - - United States

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

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Anonymous - 07/04/2012 19:40 - United States

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

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MegahnDN - 11/06/2010 14:33 - United States

Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML

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Anonymous - 22/04/2009 00:17 - Canada

Today, I lost my $100 in cash that I had to use to pay my phone bill. As a result, my phone got cut off and I missed an important call for an apartment that I was looking at. When I went to work, I heard my boss saying how lucky she was to find $100 in cash. FML

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