ChocolateyBacon

I was born on January 10th, 1995 as a fat pig named Gerald. One day, the farm owner decided it was time to ship me away so he could make some money (what a greedy bastard) so he killed me and shipped my meat away to the factories. There, I was cooked and turned into bacon. Next, I was covered in boiling chocolate, left to rot (I mean, cool), packaged in a stuffy container, and shipped to one of those gross magazine shops in the airport. As you can probably tell, I've had a pretty sucky life, so I guess it only makes sense to have an FML account.