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ЗАБЕРИТЕ 1...

Isabelle19...

Cookookachoo

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Morning motivation

thermos - 03/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

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Let that sink in

Anonymous - 04/10/2010 21:42 - Canada

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

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Cursed

Anonymous - 02/10/2010 13:12 - Australia

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said, "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

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Bestfrienduncool - 30/09/2010 05:11 - France

Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML

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FoxyManicLiar - 27/09/2010 21:06 - France

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

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