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imarriedanaxemurderer - 18/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Joliet

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

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WhySteelSeries - 06/06/2017 13:45

Today, my mom let slip that the only thing my dad actually wants for Father's Day is a gaming keyboard. Cool beans, or so I thought. The one he wants has been discontinued and the only one I can find like it is going for $350. FML

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Leira Ordet

Leira Ordet 4

samedi 3 juin 2017 3:17

Ah! My fml got posted and I had to make an account to elaborate lol. Ok so it's actually for my stepdad who has been in my life for the last 8 years and has done more for me than my biological father ever has. He's super into WoW and the keyboard in question IS a Merc Stealth and there is literally no substitute because the design is so unique.

Keep cool

Anonymous - - United States - Denver

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm… Your house is on fire." FML

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Anonymous - 23/03/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

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