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Alexis32

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Michigan, US
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Monday 05 May 1997

Alexis32

Sports are life Softball Basketball Dance Volleyball Track

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Snuggle up

addictedtofml - 24/02/2009 07:31 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

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Nice try, Steve

betrayed - 16/07/2014 20:09 - United States - Portland

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

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Judgemental

Anonymous - - United States - Boston

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

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bad in the sack - 05/07/2014 04:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

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Tattery - 03/07/2014 23:55 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

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Tattery

Tattery 2

samedi 5 juillet 2014 2:52

I am so chuffed something finally went through, haha. The funniest thing is I actually eventually did so it by hand, then about an hour later, got my vibrator and did it all over again. The other funniest thing is that other than my boyfriend, I can't share my achievement at getting something posted. I'm so pleased but it can't show anyone else, haha.