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Lilly_28 - 11/08/2009 14:01 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

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Anonymous - 10/08/2013 04:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

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JamiesMom - 13/05/2013 04:29 - United States - Trenton

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

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lundi 13 mai 2013 23:09

Op here(: My son Jamie is a boy, our cat was too. I got him 8 years ago as a 1st anniversary gift from my husband. Aladdin(Cat's name) was already dead when our son tried to flush him, and Yes we've had many fish before. I hope that answers everyone's questions.

Skyler - 24/04/2013 19:14 - United States

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

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lala8940 - 28/06/2012 05:20 - United States

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

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jeudi 28 juin 2012 17:41

To clear everything up: - they were dirty dishes going into the wash so it didn't really matter - I still have some dishes, but half of them are gone